Geesh, I'm really having issues with this post. It's like a ball of wound up emotions ready to pop.
I hate to talk sideways about someone cause I always want to see the positive in people... Ok, I need to just be real... The truth will set you free girl...
So I met this guy. At a business expo. He wasn't my type of guy I would usually date. Actually, it took me time to warm up to the fact that he wanted to date me. But what got me was how attentive to me he was. He liked to cook for me, make sure I had my favorite water when I visited, take me on dates. He seemed excited to see me, I felt like #Queen for real for real. I've never had a man make me feel so good. So at about a month I'm like, you're my boyfriend. Yasss!! I finally found Prince Charming right?!?!?! Bullshit... It was a setup.
It happened 6 weeks into our relationship. I was transitioning into my new place and I had stopped posting my workout clips on my social media sites. I was going through the Dherbs full body cleanse and I needed to just take a break. Me and the King, soon to be demoted to a frog, were texting back and forth. He was saying how I'm too good to be true. Then he says I have all the qualities that he looks for in a wife, but I was thick with too much on the fat side, my American cooking wasn't great and I should watch cooking videos from his native country, and that I seemed confused as if I didn't know what I wanted to do with my career... Awllll HELL NAWLLL... Wtf did you just text? So after I confirmed he had the right person and the right thread AND after dousing the flames with comments like "I didn't realize you were so sensitive" and "I need my woman to be able to handle criticism from me" and "take time and let it digest" I had to cease all communication with him. I'm a Taurus, and a fire breathing dragon.
I kept my mind clear because, again, I was detoxing, purging my body of harmful things. I had lost exactly 10 pounds. I was excited about this jumpstart. My body was in a little pain but this detox really healed me. My weight is a struggle. I had been without a place of my own for 4 years. I can finally get back to cooking and prepping my meals. I can get my weight under control again. Fast foods, there won't be much of that going on now cause I'm back in business babay!! And he knew all of this. He knew my story. When we dated he wanted to know my struggles. I was hesitant to tell him because it made me vulnerable. I was still dealing with the past mistakes I made. I didn't need a voice of criticism. I needed support. I was hard enough on myself. And that's why I felt so enraged by his comments. He knew my issues, I've dealt with things in private. I only told him those things because I felt he cared. I was finally winning, and now you come criticizing me, talking about how it was motivation? #bullshit
So now after a few days of this situation brewing in the back of my mind, I responded back. And with a fire that did not consume me. I unloaded on the fact that he was living in the basement of his mama house and that he was quite a porky the pig himself to be talking about me. He had so many insecurities about me cheating on him when in the past, he would catch his women in the act. The fact that he had a rich mom who bailed him out of his situations made me feel like he wasn't independent enough to lead my household, but I put all those things on the back burner because I knew he was working on all those things. I totally ignored his insecurities because he made up for it in the way he treated me well, but all that exited stage right when his real self stepped in.
He couldn't handle it. He said I wasn't the wife for him... I was like, "you damn right skippy". I ain't that insecure, low self-esteem. low self-confidence lil girl you thought that would tolerate some low slick hating from someone period. Boy bye... You didn't stop my flow, you just threw me into the next level of me getting me tight for the right man. But I hope you find what you looking for. 😈 Wahhhh!
I've been a lot of places,